回忆已成了过去

好怀念写部落的日子
我记得刚开始写部落的时候
有人告诉我说
“写部落不需要表明的”
可是我的部落就是要把自己的生活和心情都虚发出来
但当我踏入2010的时候
我的思想动作都因为我的年纪而改变了

以往的冲动
以往的白痴
以往的大方
以往的孤独
以往的一切一切都即将成为回忆

我也不知怎么了
地球在转为什么我也跟着转？
我不明白为什么书包会特别重？
应该是饭碗比较重吧？

因为一时接受不了现实就显得比较火爆？
是因为环境所逼？
还是不敢面对现实的残酷？

人总是矛盾
明明就知道那是陷阱
却又还是向前
是因为好奇心在作祟吗？

为什么自己争取到的东西已经在身边
但却是那么的遥远？
我不明白为什么人总是往深处跌？
为什么绕直径会伤得比较严重？
为什么要面对种种困难才懂得珍惜？

这段时间我看到了人心险恶
也不知该相信还是坚持不信
往往最亲近的人越是背叛自己

三字经里写了很多道理
可是没人服从
再怎么善良还是会被欺
是前世招来的孽吗？
还是被拿来开玩笑？

身边有太多的虚假
让人与人之间的距离
越～来～越～遥远～

开始习惯了！！！

我开学就快一个月了
刚刚开始还真的很辛苦
可是现在已经习惯了
早上跟爸爸去公司上班
放学又回去上班
休息时间我也只敢吃面包
现在要自己存钱所以不敢花钱XD
幸好最后还是交到朋友
他们还帮我洗头
休息时间还一起吃饭聊天
不过一开始我是一句话都不说的
他们问我我答罢了
学院里面我最小
也是会最少东西的
刚开始学得很慢
可是现在学得比较快了
也慢慢开始熟悉环境了
今天我染了头发噢
比之前的浅

还有
星期一那天
我终于考到车牌了
幸好没之前紧张
也驾得比较顺了
只可惜我“弟弟”考不到了
我原本想要陪他不及格的
可是我没钱了
更加不想浪费时间再考一次
这次幸运
可是不代表下次也那么幸运

最近经常下雨
放学回家时
都会经过那条“我们”最后的回忆的路
刚开始真的很空虚寂寞
可是走多几次我已经可以克服了
虽然经过那条路我还是会想起
但是有些事情不能不放下

现在的我也算是走着三人行
可是我知道
我是时候该离开了
所谓的“三人行”一定要有个人离开
一个人受伤好过三个人受伤
我只能认命咯。。。哈哈。。。
加油！！！

第一天！！！

哈哈。。。
好久没上载部落咯。。。
近期我跟他已经一个月没再联络了。。。
上个星期我们见到面就跟陌生人一样。。。
心都碎了。。。
兄弟们。。。（紧记：有他没有我，有我没有他）
所以知道他是谁的人千万别在我面前提他。。。
不知道事情的人就别提起我的感情是咯。。。
找到一个爱我的人而我也对他蛮感兴趣的。。。
可是我们因为有苦衷而不能在一起。。。
情路坎坷啊。。。

今天是我第一天去上课噢。。。
好多笔记要抄。。。
抄了五个小时咧。。。
好久没有抄那么多字了。。。
肩膀手臂好酸噢。。。
早上要去上班一小时然后放学又要赶回公司工作。。。
好累哦。。。
也有认识到朋友。。。
可是因为顾着抄笔记都没时间相处也没多聊几句。。。
也罢，他们都快毕业了。。。

放得下吗？？？

绕了个大圈子还是我自己做错了
经过这次我学会了
“做人不能冲动”
这个道理让我醒了很多
也让我知道
“人总是有隐私”
虽然我知道放下你会是我最大的挑战
可是这是我唯一的选择
我的后路已经被我的罪恶给抵挡了
什么事情都好
发生了就不能再挽回
道歉也是一个表面功夫
这是我感情路上最大的阴影
也让我学到很多教训
我最不服的是“诚实都有错”
唉。。。。

更不爽的是。。。
我考车不及格。。。。
明明我自己可以做到的。。。
又时因为心理问题（紧张）
结果自己把自己的驾驶执照给丢了。。。。
真丢人。。。

最近发生太多事了
虽然很多都是不愉快的事
可是真的要谢谢上天让我面对这些问题
真的让我学到很多
也让我知道眼泪不能随便流
不过当眼泪在心里流的时候
就已经是伤到最顶点的时候了
而且也让我知道
有心要留在你身边的人不管你怎么对他
他都会想尽办法留在你身边的

我有个很乖很疼我的“弟弟”
他可以解决的都会帮我解决
也对我很好
可能真的
当人与人之间相处久了
就会一种感情（别误会哦）


我的新眼镜噢。。。“弟弟”送的。。。我的生日礼物。。。



今天去pavilion KL拍的。。。好帅的车。。。

走出恐惧

我不怕受伤，可是爱逃避
我不怕被拒绝，可是不能接受事实
这些日子让我看清人心险恶
有的人口中亮出很多的美言
有的人背叛自己的承诺
有的人错了还是再错
有的人自私自利
果然是上无奇不有

我真的不明白为什么人总是那么容易就说出“我答应你”
但是到最后“我答应你”变成“我忘记了”
这是个笑话还是不负责任？
可能这些只是安慰自己的说法吧？

为什么别人会说“朋友就是拿来利用的”？
这句话的意义是什么？
难道我的一生就没有真正的好朋友？

我知道寂寞不是世界末日
可是从小我就已经习惯自己一个人
可是到了现在这个年纪我才发现原来一个人很累
我很想停下脚步
可是没人让我停下
我的一生就要如此的让人摆布吗？
不能让我安静思考自己的事吗？

我很想大声说“我不要一个人”
可是到目前为止
没有一个真正我觉得可以完全信任的人
我很怕自己一个人的恐惧
可是到头来我还是自己一个人

我很希望打败心里的恐惧
走出来，好好的相信别人
可是我办不到
当我相信的时候
就会有个大石打碎我的心
我承认有时是我自讨苦吃
可是我是逼不得已
因为我宁可选择自己一个人
也不要选择伤害自己

很怕有天我前方的路是一片漆黑
也很怕有天我听不见周围的声音
也更怕我有天嗅不到周围的芬芳
因为我最近没什么自觉了
只是觉得很恨现在的我
我很想对过去的我还有我得罪的人说“对不起，请原谅我”

等待是我的选择

失去你不会是我的世界末日
没有等待又何来珍惜？
爱不一定要拥有
付出不一定要得到回报

爱不会是我的全部
可是遇见你
让我洗心革面
让我变得成熟
让我懂得思考
让我懂得珍惜

忍耐不代表承认
忍耐不代表接受
无言不代表默认

独立不代表不需要依靠
有依靠却不能成熟
人总是不知足
人总是很矛盾

“人生真的就像一场演不完的戏”
如今我才相信这句话
会不会太迟呢？？？

get my future...

today is white valentine,
many valentine was passed,
black valentine is more better for me...
actually single is more freedom,
but when i meet you i didn't think it anymore
when you become cool i will think if i didn't know what's love more better?
i don't want you call me choose another again,
i need a person that i really can give him my future,
i know you and me still need make effort for our study
but please don't let your decision become your conclusion
if really it will waste my time i never decide to wait
i hope you can really get my meaning
i already say i won't give up,don't stop me,ok?

today i get to register hair styling at APT,
hopefully and finally i not need stay at a damn working place
and i get my dreams...
i hope i will become a top hair stylist in Malaysia
after taking hair styling course i will taking make up course
i taking at Low Yat...
friends if you free come and visit me...

I'm Back!!!

halo...
long time dint update my blog already
this month many many things is happens
sad,happy,angry,crying
what is feeling?
i almost forget what i going to do anymore

at home...
mom and dad,
they scolding because of money
my brother and sister,
they seldom chat with me
i still remember have a day my brother wants to call me dont off line but he just write in a paper and show to me
so sad...

at office...
sometime my dad will scold me suddenly
hopefully the foreman dint bully me
but the alignment man damn shit always let me scold from the customers
no mood to working anymore
mom,you must fetch me to find academy as fast as well

friends...
i get lost many friends
i dont know why after form 5 all the pupils change a lot
really friend with me only the little bit (around ten or twenty)

love...
i dont know which one is your heart sound
last month you seem like give me chance
but this month you change a lot and a lot
why you must say i choose the guy is more better
then now i still love you im seriously
dont think again im a play girl
i will change and working harder
please dont call me think who will be my real man
and please tell me what's your feeling dont say again "nothing"

i have a friend say,
im think many things and worry too much
now i become more quiet and sadly not like the happy and smiling anymore
help me...
is that means i grow up?

haiz...
now i cant do anything
i just can "tahan"
and
take my driving license as fast as well
i worry i will failed

something will cause me lose then i must think it will gain my experience
something will cause me win then i must think i must work harder
i will waiting the day i become a success women...(>_<)

A New Life Begin!!!

halo,long time dint meet you all...
are you all still ok?
now-a-day I busy for working because Chinese New Year is coming soon...
my dad workshop is during a war (the war before CNY)...(>_<)
I'm feel sleepy and tired...
damn it,but hopefully this year better than last year...
last year's business just only the half of this year...
I'm so happy because this year I have annual leave,and my annual leave have RM3++...
can cover new year spending...

I don't know whether this this is lucky or damn bad...
sometime will met bad damn things but finally will settle in a short time...
but this year I find my true love...
first time I get Valentine's Day gift and that is from my love...
I still no idea what gift did I send for him...
someone can give me some idea?

this few days my mom and my dad always scold us...
may be their "sexual period" going to end???
damn shit...
at office,get scold from my dad...
at home,get scold from my mom...
i think i will going to be crazy when you all meet me...

hope all the best!!!

unlucky begining

hi hi,
long time dint back to my blog...
this few days many things happen...
yesterday i go take "undang test" but i just get 40/50...
damn sad...
im so sad when i know im failed my "undang test"...
i think i too nervous when i sitting in the test...
nervous until i dont know wats the question asking...
when i quit the class i down until wants to cry but this few months i cant cry anymore...
hopefully today i passed my "undang test" with 44/50...
very happy...
but i very comfirm is i met a good guy...
but he dint love me...
im already bare my heart to him...
but i really dont want to fall in love before i get my future...
so i promise you...
i really will waiting for you...
please give me a chance to let you know i really really love you...
i know today i said something let you unhappy...
i will apologize and wait you after one month...
any requests that you hope i must do it...
i just want you feel happy when you meet me...
i will try my best to let you feel happiness...
i really will let you know i really love you...
i promise i will change all my personality,but i need your respond...
and thanks,you say you not really dint get feeling with me...
i will try my best to gain love...
and all my friends are you all still ok?

2010

haha...
time passed in wink of eyes...
just finish spm in end of 2008,then now already 2010...
life is so funny,rite?
sometime i will think why my life so bored?
but i know that's stupid thinking haha...
even though i damn my life but i recognize some funny friend and they are true friends...
hew kei,bobo,zi nam,ah soo and ah leong i love you all...
i will try my best to be a good sister...
i think i never forget this year...
because this year i count down in hospital...
damn funny isn't it?
my grandma fall down and the right body cant move already...
but now is more better she has feel pain...
but she almost forget our name...
haiz...
god bles her...
anyway,its 2010...
hope everything is good...